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Make Gnome Mistake…

This is the AMAZING garden gnome I found while out shopping with my husband! He was not spotted at Gnome Depot, despite your best guess.

HUGEgnome

I nearly cried when I had to leave the store without him & his giant gnome twin. But alas, giant gnomes aren’t cheap ($130!) & my husband was with me. Frickin’ husbands, haters of joy & whimsy. He obviously has not heard the popular saying “to gnome me, is to love me”.

From this gnoment on, I will mourn the loss of my soul-mate & the joy he would bring to my garden.

(If gnome puns were dollars, I’d be well on my way to purchasing said gnome.)

I’ve got a Virgin Emergency!

We spent the weekend in a cabin. At bedtime, my son’s singing, “VIRGIN! Virgin virgin virgin EMERGENCY!”

“WHAT are you SINGING?!” I said, totally baffled, as that sinking feeling of “What am I going to deal with now?” settled into the pit of my stomach that parents know well.

“It’s a song on the radio station he listens to in his bedroom”, daughter replied. “WHAT are you LISTENING to?!” The sinking feeling grew worse, as I realized what a terrible, inattentive mother I am.

So he sings it again. “I’ve got a virgin virgin virgin EMERGENCY!”

After awhile, my husband (who’s amazing at Name that Tune) says “…URGENT?! By Foreigner?”

My son goes on to say “WELL I DON’T KNOW! The only other place I’ve heard that word is on Hocus Pocus (The Bette Middler Disney Halloween classic that I make my family watch every year, virgins & yabos aside). He puts on a creepy, dark voice, “‘A virgin will light the black flame candle!’ I don’t know why they’re singing about unmarried women on the radio.”

I don’t REMEMBER telling him that’s what “virgin” means, but I’m going to let it ride for now. 😉

First thing when we got home, I played him the song & corrected his understanding of the lyrics.

My son will no longer be singing that he has a virgin emergency. I will however be laughing for a really long time.

Something New

I’m a funny mix of agnostic irreverence & strict adherence to tradition. “These are the things we do because they give us ROOTS.”

So on our wedding day, we did the traditional “Something old, something new.”

My something old was a lovely hematite necklace my grandfather had bought my grandmother many decades ago.
My something new was my wedding dress, made by hand by my very own mother.
My something borrowed was a lipstick from my maid-of-honor, when mine looked terrible in photos.
My something blue was the aquamarine tennis bracelet, a gift from my husband, in my daughter’s birthstone.