• Posts tagged "grief"

Blog Archives

Passing Each Other in the Hall

I had a good dream about my brother, finally.

It wasn’t a dream that had a plot, or really made much sense, but it was the feeling of the dream that was good.

We were traveling, my husband & kids & I. We were in a hotel & the hotel room was full of the bustling commotion that comes when everyone’s getting ready for a day in an exciting new city. They were chattering & happy.

I stepped out the hotel room door, into the hall. The hall was full of this sunny orange light. It was warm & cheery.

There was my brother! Coming toward me down the hotel’s hallway.

He was younger & happy & moving so confidently & giving me that look he had when he’d see us again after a long time apart. The look that made you feel brilliant & loved but also a little like meeting your hero. You want to impress! You want to make him think you’re the most clever & cool person in the entire universe! But you know that even though you’re only reasonably clever & occasionally cool, he loves you so much & thinks the world of you.

He’s moving towards me & I’m filled with the same Kid Sister feeling I felt every single time I ever saw my brother. I’m gleeful & nervous/excited.

He smiles at me & hugs me, but he doesn’t really stop moving. He says “I’m sorry, but I really have to be somewhere, to get something done. But we’ll get together & we’ll go see the town.”

My brother moved off down the hall, and like for so much of my life, I watched him move on without me.

 

 

But in my dream & even now, I believe him. I believe that we’ll be together again, in the warm sunny light, happy in the excitement of a trip, as we’re lacing up our shoes for a day together in exciting new place.